7 Reasons Grief Hurts So Much The Grief Toolbox

Grief is hard. IT HURTS.

We lose people, marriages, relationships, jobs, health, homes, financial solvency, and so on. Whatever the loss, we grieve.

Why does grief hurt so much? There are many reasons. Here are seven.

1.   Grief hurts because it’s personal. People say they know how you feel. They don’t. They aren’t you. It was your loss, your relationship.  That can make grief a very lonely journey. Grief is deeply personal.

2.  Grief hurts because it upends our world. Everything changes. It is like our life has stopped, that life as we knew it is over. Grief turns our world upside down, while others lives seem to go on unaffected, that hurts.

3.  Grief hurts because it’s confusing. Emotions surge up and hijack us at a moments notice, and at the same time we have this deep ache in our chest. Maybe we don’t feel like ourselves at all. Questions surface. How did this happen? Why? What do I do now? Grief is confusing.

4. Grief hurts because it changes us. We’re not the same. Our lives aren’t the same. Our relationships change. People we counted on disappear. People we barely knew, or maybe didn’t know at all, step forward as major players in our lives. We think and view things differently now. Grief changes us.

5.  Grief hurts because others don’t understand. Well meaning people say some unhelpful things. Our grief often triggers their unresolved pain, or perhaps stirs their fears of what might happen to them. They get uncomfortable, and they pull away. And that hurts.

6. Grief hurts because it hits the heart.  It can crush and shatter it. That means we have to heal. And at some point, we have to rebuild our lives, and live with the loss. Grief hits us at the core of our being, and that hurts.

7. Grief hurts because love is real. Because we love, we grieve. And often the intensity of our grief proclaims the depth of our love. Grief is a part of love – the part that hurts.